TCU Exclusive: Chris Doyle: Deal Or No Deal?

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(Photo: Jeff Allen)

Chris Doyle is without question, one of the nicest guys in the business. But what about when his back is against the wall? I decided to see how nice Big Dick Doyle when put on the spot by asking him a variety of tough questions. His answers reveal that even the nicest guys have a dark side.

(Interview concept jacked from XXL)

Would you accept 50,000 non-taxable US dollars to ride the same bars that Ryan Nyquist rode in 1998 for 3 months?

In a heartbeat!

Would you take your brakes off your bike for 6 months to appear on an episode of Deal Or No Deal?

Yeah, I guess. Deal or no Deal sucks though. I’d do it for Jeopardy or Wheel of Fortune in a second!

Would you tuck no hander a 10 stair for 40 bucks, right now?

I’d give it a shot. Could I get 20 if only one hand comes off?

You have to put your pegs on the left and can only grind opposite for the next year, but you get to decrease the length of Biz’s dick by 2 inches for the next year.

Is this even a question? Yeah, sure. I’ve always wanted to try some opposite peg stuff anyways. Sorry Biz.

Slam your seat or die.

I’ll choose life. Slammed seats are weird though. Personally, I think it makes barspins look lame.

You have to kiss Jay Roe with tongue for 5 seconds, but Obama tells America to buy your signature frame during a presidential address.

For sure! If all this stuff comes true, I’m gonna be a very rich man and Biz will be hung like an infant.

You can’t get a hair cut or shave your face for a year, but the US government creates a 7 dollar bill and it has your face on it and it reaches the same circulation as the 5 dollar bill within 2 years.

Yup! Who wouldn’t?!

Run a freecoaster for the rest of your life or get a swastika tattooed on your forehead.

I’ll take the freecoaster over being shunned by all my family and friends.

You smell like dog poop for 2 weeks, but you win the NORA Cup for 2010 in the category of your choice.

Yeah, sure. imagine how bummed all those flatlanders will be when I get NORA flatlander of the year.

Would you rather Luc-e grind a 10 stair rail to manual nowhere 180, or get punched in the face by Brad Simms?

Simms is a puss. Tell him to bring it!

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