Stop Saying Stupid Things About Crankslides.

I spent a couple hours I didn’t have to spare writing a blog earlier and can’t figure out if I like it or not. So I figured I’d write something simple instead: shut the fuck up about crankslides.

Today Dillon Lloyd’s crankslide to switch whip up a rail made waves. A lot of people in the TCU comments and on other online shit-talk portals felt the need to use this banger to point out the fact that he’s not really grinding on his crankarm that much, but still calling it a crankslide.

This should be obvious, but you sound like a complete moron typing that kind of thing on the internet. That’s like pointing out that sometimes before you do a 180, you carve into it so your bike isn’t actually completing a full 180. Who gives a shit? It’s still a 180.

And regardless of if you’re actually grinding on your crankarm, it’s still a crankslide. Crankslides have, for the most part, always been at least partially on the front pedal. Sure there have been people who did it on the arm itself, but the problem with that is that it’s almost impossible to balance when you’re on the crank arm. When you jump into an actual crank arm grind, you always end up slipping into being mostly on the front pedal if you even begin to balance in it. Here’s Ian Schwartz doing a gap to crankslide on the Albany kinker in his Up, Up & Away section:

Here’s Jim C doing one on his cruiser:

And here’s Dillon’s crankarm to whip:

There is no significant difference between the grinds going on here. Yes, Jim’s is a little bit more on the crankarm but it’s a matter of minutia. The only thing that has changed about crankslides is that in the post-Kiraly area, people are actually getting good at them and have figured out that grinding on the pedal is way more effective than trying to sit in a grind on your crankarm. People have finally figured out how to balance them. The whole “he’s not grinding on his crankarm” is the kind of thing that stupid people who don’t actually do crankarm grinds say. If you had ever done one, or hung out with someone who could do them, you’d know that this is a non-issue. So shut up and stop making yourself look stupid.

One thing I will say though… with the crankarm becoming so popular, why do we never see pedalpicks anymore? That trick was awesome.

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